New Communication Tips

My book, Sharpen Your Verbal Edge: 101 Tips to Enhance Your Professional Communication Skills is available on Amazon.com. 

Starting with Tip 102, here are the tips I’ve written since the book was published.

Enjoy! And thank you for your continued involvement.

______________________________________________________________________

COMMUNICATION TIP 102:

Negative phrases: Let’s reduce the number we use! They consciously or subconsciously communicate negativity and are confusing. I’ve collected negative phrases for 8 years, and many are in my book. I continue to collect them, and here are two I’ve heard in the last couple of weeks:

An employee who was preparing to talk to his boss said:

• “I’m going to ask if I couldn’t explain what just happened.” (could not?)

He could have said:

• “I’m going to ask if we can talk about what just happened.”

COMMUNICATION TIP 103:

Fun with transforming negatives to positives. Below are additional words, phrases, and sentences I’ve read or heard since SHARPEN YOUR VERBAL EDGE was published.

Additional examples of often-confusing negatives—followed by solutions:

• “I asked if I couldn’t talk to her.” (…could talk to her)
• “It’s anything but complicated.” (It’s simple.)
• “In the real world, it is not otherwise. (It’s the same in the real world.)
• “Look at these verses and see if they don’t make sense.” (…if they make sense.)
• “That team has no shortage of confidence.” (That team is highly confident.)
• “I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to learn different skills.” (It’s okay to learn different skills.)
• “I would not have been able to achieve my goals if it were not for my teacher.” (I achieved my goals because of my teacher.)
• “He is no stranger to St. Petersburg.” (He knows a lot of people / is well liked / travels here often / knows the layout of the city.) It could mean any one of those things. The speaker needs to be more specific.
• “Our political campaign is nothing if not positive.” (Our political campaign is positive.)

Yes, I did hear that last sentence—verbatim.

If you want to delve into a wide range of communication skills essential to achieving successful and effective professional lives, consider purchasing Sharpen Your Verbal Edge: 101 Tips to Enhance Your Professional Communication Skills. And then let me know what you think. I look forward to that.

___________________________________________________________________________

COMMUNICATION TIP 104:

“What is your word for the year?” That’s what my pastor in St. Petersburg asked us last week.

So, I’m asking you: What word is going to self-define you and be used when people describe you?

Last year, my word was gratitude, the results of which I’ll share in my next Communication Tip.

This year, my word is positivity. The topic of positivity is pervasive in my workshops and consultations—I want positivity to be pervasive in my life.

Back to you: When you choose your word, tell others. That keeps you accountable.

With my posting this, I know people will be scrutinizing my positivity in what I say, do, and write. I welcome that. I want the blessings and rewards—for myself and others—of a consistently positive mindset.

So, what is your word? Is it: Integrity? Relationships? Successful? Teachable? Respectful? Confident? Connected? Wealthy? Grateful? Fulfilled? Family? Capable? Involved? Focused? Leader? Responsible? Listener? Volunteer? Generous? Dependable? Effective? __________?

And who will you tell?

Be prepared for an immense change! (By the way, that’s a positive embedded command.)

___________________________________________________________________________

COMMUNICATION TIP 105:

Here are the words!

Last week, I asked you to choose a word that, this year, would define you to yourself and others. What word would keep coming to mind so your mind would keep coming up with ways to be that word?

And I recommended you tell someone else so the word would be more than a thought—it would be something for which you would be held accountable.

I posted that my word this year is Positivity. And I explained why I chose it.

Even though I didn’t ask you to divulge, some of you did what I did: Shared your word with a much wider audience—those who read the Communication Tip.

Here are those words:

Beacon, Centered, Change, Determined, Driven, Forward, Intentionality, Joy, Kindness, Patience, Perseverance, Present, Progress, Simplifying, Strength

Whether you publicly proclaimed your word or privately shared it, the results you and I will experience will be life-enhancing for ourselves and others. Throughout these 12 months, keep that word in front of you—mentally and physically—and seek feedback from your accountability partner.

And enjoy the experience!

___________________________________________________________________________

COMMUNICATION TIP 106:

How thanking God—gratitude—changed me.

A few weeks ago, I encouraged people to think of a word for 2019 and said my word this year is “Positivity.”

I mentioned that last year it was “Gratitude” and that I would share what happened as a result of focusing on that word/concept. Here goes:

For 5 years and counting, every day during my time with the Lord, I thank him for who he is and what he has done—whatever comes to mind that day. I have amassed a plethora of adjectives. (Yes, the vocabulary-building is a bonus, and the Lord knows that about me!)

About 4 years ago, I felt prompted to write a second paragraph thanking him for my husband Greg. I wrote as many adjectives as I could think of each day and came up with new ones as the weeks and months went by. And, meanwhile, something amazing occurred: my love for Greg deepened beyond anything I could imagine! (And every year on our Anniversary, I give Greg a card containing even more reasons why I love him. It’s the gift of words—the ones I’ve added over the past year.)

Last year, I felt a prompting to add a third paragraph thanking God for someone I found challenging. Sometimes I had to think long and hard to come up with new positive adjectives. What I didn’t expect was that those adjectives replaced any negative thoughts I had! I continued thinking and writing about that person each day until I felt released. And then I chose another person to thank God for—and then another—one at a time. And I’m still doing that. Now I look at those people and delight in them.

The power of words. The power of thoughts. The power of God. (Romans 12:2)

______________________________________________________________________

COMMUNICATION TIP 107:

What questions do you love to ask that elicit fascinating conversations?

I’m presenting a workshop I’ve titled “Ask Fascinating Questions” and, as part of it, I’m going to share my favorite questions—some of which are in my book, “Sharpen Your Verbal Edge:101 Tips to Enhance Professional Communication Skills.”

Here are two of my favorite questions:

• “What are you working on that excites you?”
• “What makes you feel most fulfilled?”

These questions are perfect for networking or business luncheons, and the answers often eclipse the world of business and generate magical rapport.

Many of you have perfected questions that garner responses that fascinate you—and you end up enjoying the conversation as much as or even more than the person doing the talking. That’s what building rapport—and friendships—is all about.

I’d like to hear those questions, and I know others would also.

Thank you, in advance, for sharing your favorite question(s) so we can learn from one another and be even better equipped to engage others—and be fascinated!

______________________________________________________________________

COMMUNICATION TIP 108:

The metamorphosis of a tag line. That’s what 250 of us experienced at the First Friday Women’s Conference last week. While listening to my presentation on The Power of Words, Amber Harper sat in the audience and re-wrote her tag line—twice!

First, she chose simpler words, and then as I talked about changing negative phrases to positive ones, she changed her tag line again.

Amber is the CEO of Burned-in Teacher Coaching and Educational Consulting—a lifeline for teachers experiencing burnout.

A little more than an hour after I spoke, Amber, as a client of the Women’s Entrepreneurial Opportunity Center (WEOC), addressed the audience. The first thing she announced was the impromptu changing of her tag line. She then shared her progression:

Burned-In Teacher:

• “Eradicates educator martyrdom” (original tag line)
• “Stops teacher suffering” (simpler words)
• “Activates teacher self-empowerment” (strong, active, positive words)

That is, indeed, the power of words!

Learn more about how Amber’s company helps teachers identify their stages of burnout and gives them specific strategies to enhance their engagement in the classroom—turning them into a burned-in teachers.  (BurnedinTeachers.com)

As a former high school English teacher, I know how much this is needed! Thank you, Amber, and thank you, teachers, for all you do.

______________________________________________________________________

COMMUNICATION TIP 109:

These words don’t need our help.

For the past year, as I hear or read them, I have been listing (not listing “out”) words that, until recently, survived by themselves. Lately, some people—editors included—evidently believe these words are not strong enough to stand alone and need to be tagged with words such as up, out, and off.

The result, in my opinion: Those who are adding the tagged words communicate they are unaware of the power (and the definition) of the original words. The tagged words are unnecessary, render most the couplets redundant, and weaken the perceived meaning of the original words whose actual definitions prove their strength and autonomy.

Ready for my list? Here it is:

Expand out, expel out, broadcast out, preach out, delete off/out, publish out, separate out, swap out, switch up/out, change up, list out, meet up, quote out, calculate out, partner up, roll play out, and offer up

If you are using any of these phrases, please look up the definition of the word and decide whether you think the tag is superfluous.

For more information, if you have SHARPEN YOUR VERBAL EDGE: 101 TIPS TO ENHANCE YOUR PROFESSIONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS, refer to Tip #19 where I focus on four couplets: report back, revert back, switch up/out and swap out.

What word couplets ending with up, out, off or back are you suddenly hearing or seeing? Please share.

______________________________________________________________________

COMMUNICATION TIP 110:

I or me? She or her? He or him?

When in doubt, leave the other word out.

That’s my mantra when teaching clients whether to use “I, she, he” (subject pronouns) or “me, her, him” (object pronouns).

Examples:

• John and me went to the meeting. (Test it: Leave out John: “Me went to the meeting.”) That’s obviously incorrect.
• Correct: “John and I went to the meeting.”

 

• This is the email her and I sent. (Test it: “This is the email her sent.”) Incorrect.
• Correct: “This is the email she and I sent.”

 

• The VPs praised Chris and I. (Test it: “The VPs praised I.”) Incorrect.
• Correct: “The VPs praised Chris and me.”

Another clue: You never combine the pronouns “him” or “her” with “I”.  And you never use “she” or “he” with “me.”

Example:

• Him and me completed the project. (Test it: “Him completed the project. Me completed the project.”) Incorrect
• Correct: “He and I completed the project.”

This is Tip #75 from my book Sharpen Your Verbal Edge: 101 Tips to Enhance Your Professional Communication Skills.

Since so many professionals struggle with one or more of these combinations and some, unknowingly, routinely choose the incorrect alternative, next week, I’m going to take this a couple steps further and give you two more clues to help you know which pronoun to use.

______________________________________________________________________

COMMUNICATION TIP 111:

Living up to how we want to be—and how other people see us.

A few days ago, I asked what word you chose that describes what you want to become or work toward in 2020, and I also asked what word you had chosen for 1919.

I disclosed that my word for 2020—positivity—is what I also chose last year. I felt I wanted to embody that quality even more.

Now let’s take this one-word evaluation to another level.

Ask someone who knows you well what one word they would use to describe you.

A month ago, while returning home from church, I asked my husband Greg that question. (Yes, I took a risk, especially considering my wanting a “do-over” in the “positive” category.) He immediately said, “effervescent.” That took my breath away! (Really?! He’s with me 24/7. He KNOWs me! And yet that was his overarching word! I had no idea!)

My word to describe Greg was “unflappable.” That surprised me because I have never used that word before to describe him—and I have written hundreds of adjectives for the past four years in thanking the Lord daily for the qualities he possesses.

We were both amazed at the results.

______________________________________________________________________

COMMUNICATION TIP 112:

How many times do you want to tell someone, “Please, respect me enough to spend three more seconds and write correctly.”?  Or am I the only person who feels this way?

Here’s an example of a text:  thank you boss

This three-word “sentence” contains four errors.

1. The first word needs to be capitalized. Always.
2. The sentence needs a period at the end.
3. People’s names need to be capitalized. Yes, “Boss” in this context, is that person’s name. Any word that takes the place of a person’s name becomes that person’s name. Other examples include Mom, Dad, Senator, Honey, Bro, Dude, Friend, etc. This does not apply when the word is used to describe the person. That word is preceded by words such as “my, the, our, his, her, their, etc.” Example: I thanked our mom. I saw the senator. How are you, my friend?
4. A comma needs to precede the name because the writer is addressing the person. The comma indicates that by setting the name apart from the rest of the sentence. We clearly see the need for a comma in this example: “Let’s eat Grandma.”

So, we write: Thank you, Boss.  Thank you, Senator.  Thank you, Dad.

Let’s go one step further. If the name of the person we’re addressing is followed by additional words, enclose that name with commas before and after it.

Example: Thank you, Friend, for reading this.

You’ll find more information on this and much more in my book Sharpen Your Verbal Edge: 101 Tips to Enhance Your Professional Communication Skills.

_______________________________________________

COMMUNICATION TIP 113:

“I am silently correcting your grammar.” Until I saw and immediately purchased this sign a few years ago, I thought I was the only person who silently corrected grammar. The sign hangs in my office to remind me others feel the same way, and to gently send a message to those reading it to do their best to speak correctly.

So many people dismiss the way they speak—thinking it doesn’t matter. It does.  

Studies show that even highly intelligent people are perceived otherwise when their grammar is haphazard.

Here are some cringe-worthy grammar mistakes:

• “Me and him are here.” Instead of “He and I are here.” (Here’s a tip: Never start a sentence with the pronouns me, him, her, us, or them.)
• “I seen her.” Instead of “I saw her.”
• “I have ate.” Instead of “I have eaten.”
• “I would have went.” Instead of “I would have gone.”
• “We/you was grateful.” Instead of “We/you were grateful”.
• “He don’t. instead of “He didn’t.”
• “I says” instead of “I said.”
• “Where are you going to?” instead of “Where are you going?”
• “Where do you live at?” instead of “Where do you live?”

Most of you reading this might not struggle with those challenges; however, you or someone you know might be unsure  about other challenges such as when to write too or to, you’re or your, its or it’s, 1090s or 1990’s, their or there, using like instead of said, etc.

My advice: find a co-worker, an English teacher, or someone else who would be honored and happy to work with others to strengthen their grammar skills.

Another option: hire a communication skills advisor. In addition to everything else I focus on, I so enjoy working with groups or individuals to enhance their grammar skills, and I do that in person or virtually. Contact me and let’s talk: 877-228-0096 or visit TheVerbalEdge.com.

Also, consider buying a book that clearly and simply shows the rules. I recommend Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tricks for Better Writing or my book Sharpen Your Verbal Edge: 101 Tips to Enhance Your Professional Communication Skills.

Most of you reading this might not struggle with those challenges; however, you or someone you know might be unsure  about other challenges such as when to write too or to, you’re or your, its or it’s, 1090s or 1990’s, their or there, using like instead of said, etc.

My advice: find a co-worker, an English teacher, or someone else who would be honored and happy to work with others to strengthen their grammar skills.

Another option: hire a communication skills advisor. In addition to everything else I focus on, I so enjoy working with groups or individuals to enhance their grammar skills, and I do that in person or virtually. Contact me and let’s talk: 877-228-0096 or visit TheVerbalEdge.com.

Also, consider buying a book that clearly and simply shows the rules. I recommend Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tricks for Better Writing or my book Sharpen Your Verbal Edge: 101 Tips to Enhance Your Professional Communication Skills.